False Justification

I personally consider myself an Existentialist, strongly believing that Existence precedes Essence. A man can easily differentiate between what is right and what is wrong. This differentiation is done by using one’s brain, and by seeing, observing and adapting to the norms of the society one lives in.

Therefore, it is safe to assume that a man exists first, realizes who he is, knows and adapts to the world, and then makes a place for himself in it – that would be his essence. Whatever decisions or actions one takes,
he is solely responsible for it. Therefore, if one decides to commit something wrong, it goes to show where his morals & values lies, and that he is responsible for it.


People know what is wrong and what is right, and I personally think everyone strives to be the best person out there…in their own way. This ‘own way’ is what creates the problems. I have witnessed so far in my short life, that people are highly capable to falsely justify their actions to be morally and ethically correct, even though they are just plainly wrong.

By doing these justifications, they somehow make themselves believe that what they did is completely right, put the blame of their wrong actions on others, and once they start believing that, all they have to do is make others believe in that ‘truth’ too. There can be two reasons for this, the first one being that everyone is extremely smart to do this type of feat quite effectively, or the second one being that one does not have a strong conscience. I believe that the latter is true unfortunately.


It seems like that everyone has this outwardly face that they have created and reserved for the entire world to see, however, everyone has a dark side hiding inside them waiting to be unleashed at the most inopportune times when the person becomes weak enough to carry on the façade he has created, any longer. Sometimes this dark side can take a person to unmatched heights of gaining power, but for many of them it is the cause of their doom in life.

Yeah ok, perhaps this inspires you for a total of 1.4675 seconds.
But still, I’ve come to realise that many situations in life can be dealt with differently just by changing your perspective a little. Sure, it’s not easy and it’s probably harder to do – but if makes things
better in the long run, then why not?

49-year-old man dresses as woman, enters female public bath area › Japan Today: Japan News and Discussion

49-year-old man dresses as woman, enters female public bath area › Japan Today: Japan News and Discussion

pervert!

Writing...

Writing is used for so many different reasons in life. A person can write to express themselves in creative ways.
Or to vent their everyday frustrations and anger within negative situations. And writing is a tool that therapists
often use, as a therapeutic means for healing, with their patients. Also, writing can be used to protest wrongs
within society. Or to cheer up a friend or make someone smile.

There are plenty of ways of writing too. There’s the traditional way, of pen to paper, of scribbling in a notebook
or journal. Also “snail-mail”, handwritten letters sent back and forth between friends, relatives, or lovers.
In the electronic age, there are emails and cellphone texting. There are forums and social networking sites,
where people are writing up a storm to each other in posts. And of course there is blogging, one person expressing
there likes and dislikes (or whatever), much like this site. ;-)

There are also books being published and magazine articles being written, in the professional world of writing,
everyday.

No matter how or on what form of media a person choose to write, there are billions of people writing everyday.
And the reasons for why people choose to write are many. Sometimes the reasons are common, but sometimes not.

My reasons for writing is simple… I have been writing,
since the age of nine, when my fourth grade teacher first showed me how to put my words onto paper.
I’ve told this story a million times, whenever a person asks, “Why do you write so much?” All I can answer is,
I’ve been writing since I was a little girl, I loved it and never stopped loving it, so I continue to do it. It’s a
part of me. I have no grand aspirations for it, other than to enjoy grabbing my thoughts and imagination from my
head, and splattering them into black and white. It makes me happy and it’s a nice hobby of mine. ;-)

I never wanted to grow up and be a writer, to be honest. Writing has always been something that I enjoy doing,
but I had no desire to make into a profession. I wanted (and still wish it) to be an FBI Agent, working in the
division of bringing lost and missing children back home to their families. That was the professional career
that I’ve always wanted, to work in law enforcement to protect children. But my life didn’t quite work out in
that way…

Still, my writing is my solace and my way to express myself. I am “opinionated” and a lot of times people don’t
listen to me in person, talking right over me, ignore what I have to say. I write so that my thoughts and ideas
are not lost to me. I sometimes come back to this blog, to read over what I had written any given day, to hear
myself within the roaring sea of my life. I don’t write for an audience, to gain fame or popularity, or to please
the masses. I write for me and maybe to make my friends and family laugh. I can be a ham, if I know they’re reading!
Hi, mom! ;-)

I have added this blog to a FaceBook page, not to gain more readers. In fact,
I almost backed out of making that page and if I get a bit overwhelmed by traffic,
I can tear it down whenever I wish to. I had realized that even though I write this blog for me, me, and me,
many others have been visiting for a while now. These are strangers from all over the world and all over the US,
as my blog stats reports have it. They are respectful and silent, reading and returning to read, not leaving
a comment or making a big deal out of my random posts. Which I appreciate! Loud noises and sudden movements
tend to startle this squirrel. :-o

But, I realized that I couldn’t keep this site hidden for long.
And the more I try to, the more popular it may become, like a underground cult following of some sort.
So, I might as well put it out there a little and make it a little less special! :-p

HOWEVER, I’m still writing this blog for me only. I’m not going to hire proof-readers, change up my usual
randomness, or writing patterns to suit an audience. My posts will continue to have some bad grammar slips
and stay on my usual rantings, thoughts, and ideas as always. But, the frequency will have to change a bit.
Last season, I had a habit of posting here Monday-Friday. And I thought about going back to doing that,
come spring, but no. Even when my muse (my best friend) comes back, I simply won’t have the time to spend
writing in my blog as much, because I’m trying to get my life into shape. I’m not getting any younger and I
can’t be a slacker forever. So, for some weeks, I may go on a writing binge of Monday-Friday posts. And for
some weeks, there may be only one or two posts. Or no posts for a few weeks. It depends on my mood or what
exactly I feel compelled to share, at any given moment. So, this blog itself will be randomly written. ;-)

But back to my first point, writing can be a lot healing and self-satisfying. And there is only a few wrong
ways of using this tool. It’s important to remember that line from the movie “The Social Network”… That when
you write on the internet, what you write is in pen, not pencil. You can’t erase what you’ve expressed and it’s
stuck out there for good. So, I try to make sure that what I write is something that I don’t mean or something
that I’ll regret later. The opinions expressed here are my true ones and not subject to change.

And if I do change my mind on something, I’ll be sure to post that. But… don’t hold your breath. ;-)

All mixed up!

Hello reader's! Well another day has passed and I don't really in the mood right now but well at least I must get to manage a post for today. Well our lecturer Ms Nelly George asked all of us about the activity for our trip again in Kundasang ( hope you guys can still remember my previous blog post on ' K stand for Kundasang'.

I don't know but someone has recommended an activity in which I think was really stupid! Playing Assasination-wannabe really inviting a trouble in the middle of the night. Am I being really 'threatening behavior' for my classmate? Well getting there soon 'cause I really can't stand each one of them actually especially the person I hate most( I've told her name on my previous blog!)

As we all discussing about the activity, I'm actually concerned about the safety of the our class. FYI the Rina D'villa Lodge was actually located in the middle of the forest 500m away from Kinabalu Park! Sorry mother earth, not that I don't like nature but sometimes surrounded with more green would make me creepy a bit.

Okay back to topic, I just pray that we'll having a good time before we saying goodbye to each other. I'm really going miss them though, eventhough they sometimes are getting on my nerve.=) Anyway, we're just solved some question of Basic research Methodology, not bad at all! Mr Defiry gave us a chance to discuss with each other. Love the eay he teach, fatherly-like lecturer. Hey, my parents has already divorced and I'm living with my mom, sometimes I really wonder what are the feeling of having a father. My very own father has been away from us since me and sister Sarara were very little.

And not to forget that I had the time to visit my friend in computer lab. Ms Rozie as she was really good person. Chatting with her for a while makes me forget about stress landing on my head this morning. But poor her as her busy life was really intense too! Entering Japanese class always makes me feel happy as each day we always learn new vocabularies and such. Looking at some of my friend pronountiation of the Japanese word
really makes me giggle a bit( Japanese is my 'food')
God, like always, family problem! I just found out that my stupid aunt just got fired from her soon-to-be-permanent job. I was like ' hell yeah, serve her right' but somewhere inside of me just feel really sympathy with her.


Ha~ this are 101 about that my aunt:
- she's very lazy kind of person
- she doesn't like us that much
- the only thing in the world she care is her stupid appearance (selfish)
- she 's in her 40's and don't even know how to cook
- 4 years ago, she angrily saying me and sister Sarara will become a fail person ( guest who the FAILURE NOW?)
- Hypocrite, nasty, dirty, not independent, etc,etc
- Typically she not what you think what a normal aunty does, she's a bitch!!( A ~ that's better)

Hey, evethough I'm maybe a threathening type but I not that bad ( really? ...Hmmm)
Some days it was hard though

To much to handle

Its Wednesday and it rain cats and dog in Kota Kinabalu....
Not a sunny day I guest and I keep busy with my assignment project paper
Ah ~~~ this so frustrating! I can't even concentrate on my work
So what am I to do? For now I think I’ll take a couple of deep breaths and get through today. Then I’ll study for the Statistic just in case... Indecisions indecisions, but I’m only 19, I’m allowed to change my mind a couple of times, right? … But for now; deep breaths and fingers crossed.

I wonder happen to the opposite of the world...

Valentines, forget the wining and dining. Do something that matters

Hello readers! Well its Valentine, so I'm sure everyone has their own saying and opinion about Valentines day.

Every year February 14, is celebrated as Saint Valentines Day all across the world. Valentine’s Day is the most awaited day of the year for all youngsters . There is a holiday on this day so that all lovers can enjoy and express there feelings to one whom they love. Even though the history of St. Valentine’s Day and the patron Saint behind it is shrouded in mystery but we treat month of February as the Month of Romance. This day involves mutual exchange of Valentines. Loved ones celebrate by presenting flowers, gifts , offering candies ,sending e cards , sending love messages and much more all in the name of St. Valentine, the patron saint of lovers.
Valentines signs and symbols generally have a outline of a heart and containing picture of CUPID with wings . Now the tradition of sending Cards and Greetings with Valentine Hearts engraved on them has become very popular.

Well my Valentines was not really fun today as our class has been cancelled and nobody even my friends tell me and Sister Sarara about this (which makes me really mad ). Oh well, somebody haven't been here in KK since Chinese New Year are still in holiday mood I supposed...
But the good thing is, I manage to do some of my homework instead of hearing everyone saying 'Happy Valentines' to each other. Honestly, Valentines day quite fun when you share it with your friends and family. Even your loves too!( if you have one..)Well, I have my crush on someone but I don't have the guts to tell him...

Okay, talk about relationship, there's only thing in my mind - Expectations. Somewhere in the past someone must have said that it’s just but normal to have certain expectations. Especially when you’re in a relationship with someone. And so we live by that rule. But the thing about expectations is that when they’re not met, they ruin everything. I realized a few things. love begins at the point where you lower you expectations and the other reaches to meet them. In every relationship, we always have expectations. It doesn’t matter what kind of a relationship you have, we always have expectations. And when they are not met, we get disappointed.Thats just a thought, a matter of opinion I would say...

HA~ thinking of my uncle right now, because on Valentines day he would never forget to bring his fiancée some delicate and beautiful roses good luck for him! Well I'm okay if there's anybody wants to give me a bouquet of flower ( some red roses might be nice!) NGEH!!! Crazy me. Last time I've ever talk about love, mom scolded at me saying that I better concentrate on my study rather think stupid thing like. Since then I never ask something that are related about relationship or life( I may good with academic but zero when it comes to private life). But hey, express your love to mother(earth)by reduce cardboard boxes, no disposable containers, no bottled water. OR get your heart pumping - Charity walks and runs raise money for a good cause and get you moving in the great outdoors. Bring the family or your co-workers along to make it a team event.

Whatever it is, behind all our roles and personalities and professionalism, each of us, at essence, is a living, loving being. Sure, on the other 364 days of the year we might try to fake it, but on this one day, the world agrees: Love is where it’s at. Call it spirit, call it sweetness — whatever you want to call it, we’ve all got it. It’s just a matter of what we do with it. hehehe

Well thats it for today everyone, had to grab my lunch! ( I haven't eaten all day and I'm really really really hungry)

Notes of music just like a raindrops, it comes from everywhere...

What is it about music that can just take over us?
A song can instantly cheer you up. It can just as quickly make you sad. A lullaby will put you to sleep, and when a
song you love comes on the radio you just want to get up and dance! A song featuring the lyrics ‘holy guacamole’ just made me laughs.
It’s one of the few things that everyone likes, and has an individual opinion about – and everyone’s opinion is different, and that’s what is expected. In the public forum we are expected to have opinions that fall into certain categories of the argument. People often expect that if your opinion of A is B than your opinion of C must be D, and if your opinion of C is, say X, then your opinion of A couldn’t possibly be B, but rather must be Z.


But with music it’s not the same. There are no constraints on the types of songs, or artists we prefer, based on what other types we prefer.
Any like or dislike, and any combination of the two is perfectly acceptable.

If your favorite song is a dead tie between Tchaikovsky’s ‘Romeo & Juliet –Fantasy Overture’ and Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’, it’s not only perfectly fine and normal, it might even be pretty cool.So, what is about music that we love? Is it a message the song delivers, in lyrics for example? Is it how the sound feels resonating through your body? Is it what you see when you close your eyes? Or does it just unexplainably make you smile, and make you happy?


Well, I’m not exactly sure. But I do know that everyone has a song that they will say they ‘love’ and they mean it.
It’s that one song that when they hear it, it just makes them genuinely happy, for whatever reason.

It’s something that will hold that a special place in your heart and that will have the same effect on you no matter when you hear it, be it in 5 minutes, or 5 years. ...er no, not like this...

So, this music you love, that’s so dear to your heart, where did it come from? How did you hear it? We are usually pointed to music by some source, the radio station, Pandora, a TV station, or show, any variety of websites designed to help us discover music, or even just a friend telling us.


So, to leave you with a few thoughts, since you didn’t find your music on your own, which has been making the decisions for you about one of the few things you, are completely entitled to your individual opinion about? Think I’m full of it? Tell me how you found a song you love,without any input from any one else

She so fake....

Hello readers! Today was really bad day for as some people just don't know how to quit! Well I'm talking about a girl in my class who are so hypocrite and pretending when there's my lecturer in front of her... not me even when my lecturer scold me....

I hate her from the very first beginning of our semester, since I'm learning Japanese I would like to call her 'B' ....ha stand for BUTANIKU!! ( Ah ~ That's better) Well maybe it was just me or not but when I first know her, I knew that our friendship will never last forever....whatever


Okay, last semester everyone felt sorry to one my so called friend ( yes, I don't think she my best friend anymore...ugh) saying that she had to do all the work from that BUTANIKU since they were in group together...she told us all in front of the class as if like she looking for sympathy or something but then when that BUTANIKU came in, she stop and pretending there's nothing happen...hmmm how HYPOCRITE YOU ARE ABBY!! Why? You think that she's really that great until you had to do whatever she tells you to do and ....be a pets for her? Please....


This so called BUTANIKU were actually not so great at all and not to mention that she always got almost C's for her result, which makes me think " I'm better, she so pity" ugh, just a thought about her makes me feel want to slap on her face.....( can I do that?)....apparently not


But can I do this?

Next another about class, everyone are so....okay the truth are ...Yes Pretending!! Yesterday we are divided into a few group where everyone don't want to be in group with BUTANIKU. My sister just shout as if she were giving a speech to everyone and announce that she don't to be in group with BUTANIKU. She everyone was like starring her and agree that they have same idea in mind. But not today I guest.


It just not right....Anyway, I rather be alone than be with people, it's because they simply can stab your back without you even notice it....My life full with Hypocrite people ....but my friend who's I called them 'Computer Lab members' hehehehe


Here's a qoute for BUTANIKU
"The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity"

Emm....
What shall I write about her?....Nevermind forget about her, I'm better and she so pity.

Family always important ~~

Hi everyone, feeling great? Hmm...I thought so.
Well just now when I checked my Facebook page, one of my best send me a link which story about family and I thought I would like to share it with you ( I don't know whether you've been heard about this story before.....). I know, I know it's not really the time to discuss about it in here but hey, family's important I tell you people...


Okay, here's the story.....

Bob Richards, the former pole-vault champion, shares a moving story about a skinny young boy who loved football with all his heart. Practice after practice, he eagerly gave everything he had. But being half the size of the other boys, he got absolutely nowhere.


At all the games, this hopeful athlete sat on the bench and hardly ever played. This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship.

Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to.


But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior.

All through high school he never missed neither a practice nor a game but remained a bench-warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.

When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did.

The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.

The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in a game.


It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big playoff game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent.


Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?" The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game on Saturday."

Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. "Coach, please let me play.

I've just got to play today," said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted is worst player in this close playoff game.

But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said. "You can go in." Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes.



......
You there? Okay.

This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked, and tackled like a star.

His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you never heard.


Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that this young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"

He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?" The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"

Here's the quote about the story
Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad... And his guiding hands on our shoulders will remain with us forever.

Ah ~~ Thats really moved me into tears.....

Oh well, I guest somebody might moved to tears already huh? That's okay, just pretend that there's dust in your eyes but if I were you I might turn into this hehehehehe God blessed us all anyway...